Alcanza con pensar en el pedido pendiente de un service para el lavarropas, en el reclamo por un mal cobro del servicio de cable o tener que cancelar una suscripción no solicitada (la lista total ocuparía dos páginas) para que se te paren los pelos de punta y enfrentes el día de pésimo humor. Te atacan los nervios ya desde antes de empezar, durante el trámite y después. Porque, si hay que hacerlo sí o sí por internet, basta teclear mal una vez o no comprender si la contestación para algo es «sí» o «no», para maldecir al sistema que nos contesta “datos incorrectos”, “clave equivocada” o «el usuario ya está registrado» lo que implica volver a sumergirte en el interminable laberinto de la web. Parsa luego terminar insultando por el pasillo como hago yo todas las veces.
No le dedicamos suficiente atención a este tema. La realidad es que la brecha digital es discriminatoria. Como a ustedes, a mí también me molesta sentirme tarada, que es como me siento cuando no logro hacer una transferencia en home banking, por ejemplo. Siempre parto de la suposición de que la culpa es mía. Caen sobre mis hombros miles de años de tradición judeocristiana de culpas. Es culpá mía porque no vi el botoncito de la derecha abajo del todo, casi invisible, que hay que cliquear para transferir o porque me apuré o porque no leí bien las instrucciones que nunca se entienden. En un caso, como no pude obtener un token para confirmar una transferencia, asumí que eso también era culpa mía; pero ¡no lo era! Se debía a que cambié el teléfono y mi amigo el sistema no me reconocía. Entonces consulté con mi otro amigo, el bot del banco. Respuesta: “diríjase a un cajero automático para finalizar el trámite”. Sí, creer o reventar: me mandó a un cajero el mismo bot que me manda hacer todo en internet porque en la sucursal nadie te quiere atender. Les aclaro que no me consuela sentirme acompañada si me cuentan que a ustedes les sucede lo mismo. Simplemente, no debería pasarnos..
Pero prometí ocuparme de trámites no bancarios. Durante dos días tuve que enviar tres whatsapps, uno de ellos lleno de datos personales, para conseguir un turno médico. Pude hacerlo, después de leer dos mensajes automáticos, recién cuando por fin me escribió una señorita María que se presentó como secretaria del doctor.
¿Y los formularios? Como el de pre-embarque en avión que, después de llenar todo e intentar infructuosamente cambiar el asiento asignado, te dice “lamentamos, su trámite no es válido en su zona, deberá pasar por el mostrador”? A lo que se suma que en los aeropuertos ahora todo se maneja por pantallas de manera que, si no aparece la señorita que ayuda, simplemente no viajás.
¿Y la emergencia de la prepaga? Te sentís muy mal, llamás al 0800 de urgencias, no te contestan por diez minutos. Llamás al número de emergencias, ellos te contestan enseguida, no alcanzás a decir “me siento muy mal y tengo ochenta años” que te dicen “este número es para emergencias graves llame al de urgencias”. El mismo que te acaba de no contestar. O te dicen que también podés comunicarte por internet. O sea, estás tirado en tu casa, convencido de que te estás muriendo y como no podés comunicarte tenés que ir a la computadora para pedir que venga alguien a salvarte
Otra: todos, y digo todos, los descuentos que nos llegan en promociones personalizadas por e-mail, aplican solo para compras por internet o con billetera virtual. Yo odio, detesto, comprar lo del súper por internet. Necesito ver los productos, elegir, comparar, tener ideas mientras circulo y acordarme de artículos que no anoté. Soy humana. Digo yo, ¿no merezco los mismos descuentos? ¿No me están discriminando?
En cuanto a las billeteras virtuales, sale día por medio en los diarios que roban cientos de teléfonos solo para vaciar las billeteras de sus dueños. ¿Y no me dan el descuento si no pago con Modo o sus semejantes? ¿Quieren que cargue la billetera virtual para que me roben mejor?
Pero… también les cuento que alguna rara vez, cuando me siento derrotada por el sistema, llamo a la línea telefónica y, para mi gran sorpresa, un joven amable me da indicaciones y logramos superar el problema. Siempre pienso que se da cuenta con quién está tratando porque el número de documento de identidad le debe abrir los ojos; y deduzco que me ayuda porque le recuerdo a su abuela querida.
Hay otros días, en cambio, en los que me imagino que un empleado malvado, con cara verde de monstruo de dibujo animado, ve como me equivoco en cada movida que hago y se regocija ante mi frustración. Ni siquiera se plantea que ELLOS no nos indican claramente, por ejemplo, que antes de avanzar hay que tildar el puntito chiquito, allí al costado, o hacer doble click un poco más arriba de ese signo que no sabemos qué quiere decir.
Le acabo de tirar unos temitas nuevos, admirado señor San Juan, por favor adóptelos usted que sabe defenderse.
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